Monster
by Emobunnyme
Summary: Morgan decides to take a look at Spencer's iPod while hes asleep on the jet. His most played song speaks volumes to the team. Song Fic. Warning: mentions drug abuse. One-Shot.


**A/N: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its Characters. I do not own Skillet or any of their songs. No Beta, all mistakes are my own. Thank you for reading.**

 **A/N: No slash or pairings, Team/Family Fic.**

 **Warning: Rated T for mentions of Drug Use, Set early season three.**

 **A/N: _Please look up lyrics to better understand, I couldn't include them due to the websites rules._**

—

The members of the BAU were on the jet after a particularly gruesome case involving a women who kidnapped and murdered three children. Luckily they got there in time to save the last girl.

The various members had settled in pretty well. Reid had already fallen asleep on the couch. Morgan and Emily were playing a makeshift game of poker. Hotch was looking over the files again in the courner of the plane. Rossi was typing away at his computer, no doubt working on another masterpiece. JJ had gone to the cockpit to check on the ETA to DC. The plane was dead silent.

All heads snapped up at the loud thud that seemingly came from their youngest. He was still asleep but his iPod laid in a pile on the floor of the plane. The headphones already tangled despite the fact that they had just popped out of his ears. Morgan smiled at the scene and being the closest bent down to pick the device up. He was about to set it down on the couch next to his sleeping brother, but instead he smiled and scrolled through the music.

"What are you doing Morgan?" Emily asked, getting the attention of Hotch and Rossi.

"Relax princess, I just want to see what Pretty boy here actually listens to. It can't all be Beethoven and Mozart." Morgan smirk and shrugged one shoulder lightly. "Don't tell me your not curious."

"It doesn't matter, its an invasion of privacy." Hotch stated taking a step towards his more playful team members.

"Come on man, its just music. What's the harm in knowing his favorite song?"

"I gotta admit I'm pretty curious myself..." Rossi admitted, joining the three around the table that was previously being used as a poker table.

Aaron didn't say anything but gestured slightly for them to continue.

"So, favorite song is probably the most played, right?" Morgan asked, getting nods of agreement in response. "Well here goes nothing." The dark skinned agent scrolled through Reid's playlist until he landed on the 'most played' song. He raised a brow, not recoganizing the song or even the artist name. He turned to the team and pulled the headphones out to activate the speakers.

"So, uh, the songs called 'Monster' and its by a band called Skillet." He stated, preparing to push play.

"Skillet?" Emily asked. Morgan shrugged, the remainder of the team shook their head and gestured for him to press play. It seemed that none of the team recognized the song.

"Here goes nothing..."

*musical intro*

"Whoa, thats a bit heavier then I would have expected..." Rossi stated, receiving nods of agreement and furrowed brows in response.

*First Verse*

Hotch furrowed his brow and tilted his head, concentrating on the lyrics. What drew Spencer to this. Its raw and harsh, definetly nothing like the classical they would expect. The lyrics speak of a hidden side of oneself. A monster begging to break out. Is this how Reid feels. Locked inside his own brain. Or is this something darker. A built up aggression from a severe childhood. Or was it something much more obvious, something he couldn't say out loud without risking his job...

*Second Verse*

Morgan's fists clenched. He knew what this was about. How many times had he received frantic late night calls from Spencer wanting to talk. Wanted a distraction from the images that plagued his mind. He thought back to Reid's nightmares and the power of his memory. They got worse after the Hankel case, but he found a way to relieve it. An unhealthy way that changed who he really was. Something he lacked control of...

*Chorus*

I, I feel like a monster

Emily brought a hand to her mouth as she contemplated the implications of the words. She was getting used to the way Reid had treated her recently. The aggression, the pain she saw in her eyes. She tried to convince herself it was PTSD but she knew it wasn't. They all knew. It was an escape from his nightmares, but in itself it was a nightmare...

*Third Verse*

Rossi, okay I may be the new guy here, but even I'm can tell that this song means something on a deeper level. The kid seemed like the mildest of all of them. A bit quirky, sometimes annoying, but otherwise tame in personality. Is this how their genius is feeling; like something inside of him was tearing him to pieces. What could the kid have possibly been through that would cause him so much pain? Then that last line... He was begging for help. Was he doing that around us? Were we really so blind to his pain? What kind of profilers are we?

*Chorus repeats*

I, I feel like a monster

*Verse Four*

Hotch considers what else he should have done to help with Reid's... problem. Clearly he was struggling more then he ever let on. Why did I let Gideon take care of this? He didn't do anything to help Spencer. He's struggling just as much now as he had been before. So many times Spencer reached out for help and I ignored it, convincing myself that Gideon would fix it. Of course he didn't, the man was selfish. He only wanted Reid to be fit enough to do his job. He had at the very least accomplished that much. Spencer's work behavior had improved after New Orleans. But emotionally he was still off. How had we not noticed?

*Repeating Chorus*

Everyone jumped as the last 'monster' came out in a horrible growl.

 _I, I feel like a monster_

The team exchanged concerned glances and didn't even notice that Reid had woken up. The young genius smiled softly as he sat up. "Not what you expected?" He asked with a chuckle as the various members of his team jumped at his voice.

"Reid, we-"

Spencer laughed, "don't worry guys, the lyrics are wrong. I've got the monster under my control." With that Reid snatched his iPod out of Morgan's hands and pulled a book out of his satchel. Taking his lead, the rest of the group returned to their previous activities, trying to ignore the feelings that the song brought out in them. It was several minutes later when they heard a low rumble coming frowm their youngest. Is he singing? Sure enough Spencer sang the last line of the song.

 _I, I feel like a monster_

 **A/N: Just something that came to me while I was listening to music. Let me know what you think. Please R &R!**

 **A/N: If you don't know the song, it is on YouTube, and the Lyrics can be googled.**


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